Wisdom turned upside down

One of the local news web sites I visit is NZ Herald. They’ve recently started some blogs as part of their site. Just a variation on the old opinion columns really. Anyway, this morning one of their headings caught my eye. The blog it was part of is called “Blonde At The Bar” and is obviously one person’s take on relationships and the singles scene in Auckland. Most definitely not coming from a Christian perspective, but having browsed through some of the old posts provides some interesting insight into the mind of the “modern woman” (well, at least one of them).

Anyway, the particular post I’m going to link to is entitled “Saving Yourself”. The writer has received an email from a 28 year old man who is a virgin by choice (saving himself for marriage) and doesn’t quite really know how to respond. It’s not mentioned in the article whether the correspondent is a Christian or not but I can only assume that they are a “person of faith” of some description. Even if he is not, he is following what is God’s ideal when it comes to sexual relationships and it is interesting to see The Blonde at a loss as to what to say. The Blonde’s comments about what women have picked up culturally is also interesting and the reaction of her friend whose relationship was soured by her beau’s seemingly lack of interest in physical intimacy. I think John 1:5 is a key verse to consider in this situation.

It’s sad that what should be interpreted as a decision of love (that love being for your eventual life partner) is seen as something negative. Not to mention the simple fact that if people really did save themselves for one person in the context of a lifetime commitment there would be no spread of sexually transmitted diseases. So often it is forgotten that in REAL relationships, sex is the icing on top rather than a foundation to lay everything else on. Even in a very “active” relationship the amount of time spent at that level of physical intimacy is minuscule when compared to the time spent talking, discussing how the bills are going to get paid, enjoying hobbies, spending times with friends, etc, etc and the fact is if there are communication problems then bedroom activities are the normally the first things out the window!

Gorgeous and I saved ourselves for marriage although I’d have to be honest about myself and say that it was at times more good luck (or should I say “God” luck) then good management on my part that allows me to make that statement. Neither of us would say that we feel that we’ve missed anything by not being more “experienced”, that’s one of the great things about doing things God’s way is that you get to learn together and it’s not as if you need to be concerned about your “performance” being compared to someone else. (I’m realising that this is getting close to toooo much info for some people so I’ll stop :) )

This topic makes me think of a solo drama I wrote and performed once at the church I was attending at the time. It was all arranged with the pastor who was going to preach about sexuality (I don’t recall exactly what the specific focus was), but before he started he invited me up for a “testimony”. I started saying things like “it’s not I dislike girls, it’s just that it’s never happened for me you know”…. “in some ways people’s attitude towards people like me has improved but in some ways it’s still considered strange” …. “it’s great to be part of church family that accepts me as I am”… etc etc. Eventually, I said something like “so in effect, with the support of our pastor this morning, I’d like to come out of the closet and reveal to you all the fact that I am virgin”. It certainly had quite an effect and at the time it was particular amusing to watch our youth pastor (I was leading the junior high group at that point) get further and further on the edge of his seat as I got along in my monolouge only to relax right at the end when the punch line was delivered.

Once again there is more I want to write but time is against me so it’ll have to be another one in the “to be continued” pile. Feel free in the mean time to let me know your comments.